Pain-Rage-Release

i’m hyperventilating, not because i ran on a 50 mile track, it’s an entirely different reason today. the stifling air in my lung’s thick with a smoke-like rage sweeping me into a vortex of my emotions.

pain (n)
how peculiar pain is, it comes from distinctive sources and makes its way to your heart causing arrhythmia.
death, heartbreak, divorce, a blow in the face, failure, all these connote pain.
it seeps through your bones, through every fibre of your soul setting it afire.

rage (n)
pain morphs into rage and thrums it’s way through you, it is fuelled by anger, anger at things we can’t change as much as we try, anger at those we care for who seem not to look into the subtleties, outrage over the state of the world’s affairs, these build a pressure in our souls, in our hearts, waiting for the right time to explode, waiting for purgation to occur.

release (n)
a cleansing phase we undergo, it vents through our tongues, though our fists, though our legs, or our fingers as we write about our ordeals, it gives us satisfaction, a feeling of contentment or regret for what we’ve experienced. the fury abates at this stage and we wear an unbridled smile or a cloud of sadness. a maelstrom of gratitude rises high and takes over our minds
an appreciation for what we’ve been through.
a catharsis.

image by me

regret

sometimes you’d wish a thing you did or failed to do or stop never happened, it’s called regret

regret is more than a feeling of guilt due to inaction, it’s a darkness that seeps through you when you close your eyes in search for peace, it hunts your soul and consumes you till you give into it, it lies awake staring down at you hoping for a counteraction, hoping for change

regret has nothing to do with honour nor pleasantries nor viciousness, it is unbiased and eats up the hard-worker and the lazy and the candid and the devious in similar ways for different reasons. it swallows Kings for not defending kins and destroys killers for slaying victims

regret has no rhythm, it has no crests nor troughs, it’s neither sinusoidal nor collinear. it makes its way through whether there be barricades or not, it cares not about time for it’s relative to ordinary actions and peculiar inactions.

regret every so often says “slowly but surely” although it has no sense of spans and will consume you in a way a blackhole consumes a star, so all i can say for now is regret is the deadliest asphyxiant

@Salscribes