Mixed Feelings

 

  • Do u ever feel like your heart has been shredded into tiny threads?

Like your arteries distribute the pains to your other body parts

Like your feet do not belong to any part of you

Like giving up when there’s so many reasons to hold onto the rope of hope

  • Do you ever feel like you’re staring at a stranger when you look into the mirror?

Like you’re a nobody in the midst of those you care about

Like the pebbles on the precious soil you step on look like lofty mountains

  • Do you ever feel like a slave to your own mind?

Like your ego overpowers your humbleness

Like you are lonely, choking amidst a crowd

Like you are not being heard even when your voice is loudest amongst all

Like there are days when you want to pour your heart out to someone but you hesitate because you feel they may not understand or they may not even give you a listening ear

  • Do you ever feel like a philosopher as you question the meaning of life and why the world is the way it is late at night?

Like you have no control over your own decisions

Like a historian as you try to remember your past while missing or regretting it

  • Do you ever feel like the whole world is closing up on you?

Like you are alive yet feel dead deep inside

Like suffocating albeit there is sufficient oxygen

Like solitude is your escapism from chaos called “life”

Like there are days when you just want to block everyone and everything just to have your life inundated by drops of ‘peace’

  • Of course you get these feelings

When there’s too much noise. Too many choices and too many voices. You’re stuck and the entire world is racing

When your heart is torn into fragments of grief and tears profusely flowing, drowning you in an ocean of pain

When anger spreads in your whole body like a cancer, consuming every crevice of your being and sadness devours you like a virus

When you want to scream at the top of your lungs in anguish, feel hopelessness in your solar plexus, and just want to disappear

When the feeling of loneliness finally wins its battle against you and you surrender yourself to tears and anger of what seems like a hopelessness

Days when you fall to your knees with no intent to get back up again

  • Because it’s during these moments you have mixed feelings.

Bleeding Hearts

Why do our hearts not bleed?

Staring at these pictures of a world filled with greed

Homeless orphans all over u could feel their need

Women, men and children, the destruction spares no soul

How do you find it so easy to sleep?

While you see their dreams being washed away

While it fades like the lustre of an evening cloud.

And a group of humans celebrate with ululations as another is being exterminated

While victims of war go through physical and mental agony

And you do nothing but watch through an electronic graphic screen

O martyrs we do feel your pains and we do hear your screams

O humans it’s never too late to give a helping hand

Therefore, stretch out those precious limbs

And help by any means

If your heart truly bleeds.

Growing Pains

My heart bleeds with sorrow

I feel the pain passing through each of my veins

I hear the resonance of different voices

But all I see are silhouettes as I walk past the chambers

It feel like it’s all fiction

I feel like a pariah as I open the doors to my apartment

Nay, my shoulders can’t withstand life’s mental weight

I drag my feet towards the mat

As I place my forehead on it

I come to comprehend, that only God is able to cure our Growing Pains.